My mom passed away 27 years ago, yet Mother’s Day still is a bit of a bittersweet day. The pain of missing her has faded after all these years, but I still feel some sadness when Mother’s Day cards start showing up in stores, friends make plans to spend time with their moms, and restaurants offer Mother’s Day specials.
Of course she’s in my heart every day, but I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to still have her in my life in a more tangible way. In the last birthday card she sent me before she passed away, she told me how proud she was of what I had made of my life at the time, But she never knew me as a writer. She never knew how much joy my chosen career has brought into my life.
And yet, I know she knows. I know she’s been cheering me on all these years, and I know she’s still proud of what I have accomplished. But on days like today, I wish I could get just one more hug from her. I wish I could hear her voice just one more time, calling me by any of the special names she had for me. I wish she was still here.
My mom with Feebee, spring of 1985
She has been on my mind a lot over the past year or so. I often reflected on the hardships she lived through during World War II in Germany, especially when I felt like I couldn’t stand living through this nightmare of a pandemic for even one more day. She lived through a lot worse for six years. I hope I’ll be emerging from this current challenge with even a fraction of the grace she showed then.
Whether you’re the mom of human or feline children, enjoy your day. And if your mom is no longer with you, I hope today is filled with wonderful memories of your time together.
